


Heartbeat

by fangirlingtodeath513



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Rockstar, Doctor!Cas, Grammy Awards, Hidden Relationship, M/M, Rockstar AU, rockstar!dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-24
Updated: 2018-02-24
Packaged: 2019-03-22 21:54:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13773351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fangirlingtodeath513/pseuds/fangirlingtodeath513
Summary: Being a doctor in an emergency room can be stressful enough, but add to that the fact that your boyfriend is a world-famous rockstar who's away from home more than he's there and that'd be enough to drive anyone insane. Castiel has somehow managed to keep his sanity and even a positive outlook on his and Dean's life together, but sometimes dating a rockstar justsucks.Or: 5 times dating a rockstar sucks, and one time it’s kinda awesome.





	Heartbeat

**Author's Note:**

> There is one thing that may be triggering to some, which I'll put down in the end notes just in case.
> 
> I know absolutely nothing about how the Grammys work and I know the nominations were released late in this, but I couldn't get the timeline to work with making the nominations earlier. 
> 
> The song used at the end isn't mine, there's a link to the actual song in the end notes!
> 
> There's no homophobia or fear of being out, they just made the choice to keep their relationship a secret.

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/159765044@N05/40409802522/in/dateposted-public/)

 1. 

Castiel’s been in plenty of airports, it’s one of the perks of having a boyfriend who travels the world for a living. Or one of the downsides, depending on how you look at it. Regardless, he’s _more_ than qualified to say that Los Angeles International is the worst airport on the face of the Earth. There’s paparazzi crawling everywhere, and he’s sure beyond a shadow of a doubt that Dean’s going to get swamped as soon as he steps off the plane. Despite all of that, his stomach is still twisted in knots, his excitement threatening to bubble over. Dean’s been on tour in Europe for the past three weeks and this is the first time they’ve seen each other in person. Normally, Cas takes time off when Dean’s in Europe to meet up with him and spend a few days just on their own, but this year it just wasn’t possible. He’s gunning for a promotion at work, and Dean’s recording the last of the songs for his next album and getting them mixed with the hope of getting it out for consideration by the Grammy Committee. He’s been nominated before but never won, and he knows it’s Dean’s greatest disappointment. Though, from what he’s heard of the newest album, he’s got at least one Grammy locked down.

 

Cas’s eyes flick to his watch and back up to the arrivals board, his shoulders tensing with excitement when he sees that Dean’s flight from London has landed. He makes his way through the crowd to Dean’s terminal, a giddy grin spreading across his face. Sure enough, five minutes later, he spots Dean’s favorite baseball cap, and green eyes meet his. His favorite smile graces Dean’s lips, the small, private one generally reserved for when he and Cas are alone. It doesn’t look like anyone’s realized Dean’s here yet, so Cas takes his chance and makes his way over to him, grinning when Dean drops his carry-on and wraps Cas up in his arms. He nuzzles his face in his boyfriend’s neck, letting the familiar and comforting scent of _Dean_ wash over him before pulling away and planting a kiss square on his lips. Dean smiles, an easy, loving smile, and leans down to capture Cas’s lips again.

 

Their moment doesn’t last long, though. The crowd’s thinned and he’s endlessly nervous about the paparazzi catching them together, so he drops a final kiss to Dean’s lips before letting the man go and grabbing his carry-on, walking with him to baggage claim. Sure enough, the paparazzi swarm them, shouting at Dean to get his attention. Much to his credit, he ignores them entirely and grabs his bag off the carousel. He turns and follows Castiel out of the airport and to their car, sighing happily when he sees Cas drove the Impala. Cas grins, taking his bag and tossing him the keys.

 

“I figured you might’ve missed her.” Dean pats the hood fondly, opening the trunk and helping Cas load his things before sliding behind the wheel with another happy sigh.

 

“Best boyfriend ever.” Cas grins, reaching over and threading his fingers through Dean’s, squeezing gently. “I missed you more, though.”

 

“I missed you too, Dean. As much as I love Skyping with you, it’s just not the same as having you here.” Dean smiles gently, pressing a kiss to Cas’s knuckles as he drives them home.

 

They barely make it through the door of their apartment before Dean’s luggage is dropped and Castiel is shoved against their door, a surprised gasp escaping his lips. Dean shoves his jacket off before shedding his own, his fingers twisting into Cas’s shirt and hauling the smaller man forward, capturing his lips in a heated kiss. Castiel groans at the feeling of Dean’s lips on his after so long, winding his arms around the man’s neck and shamelessly rutting against the thigh Dean slips between his legs. Dean pulls him to their couch, though their shirts are left in the entryway. Dean barely gets Cas’s jeans undone before he’s being pulled on top of him. He eventually gives up trying to get them undressed, instead opting to shove their pants and boxers down far enough to wrap a hand around both of them. Cas groans underneath him and _fuck_ , he’s missed this. He ruts shamelessly against his boyfriend, swallowing his every gasp and groan in the process. Cas’s hips move to meet his pace, and it doesn’t take long before they’re both trembling and spilling onto Cas’s stomach. To his credit, he doesn’t seem to mind, if the glowing, satiated smile on his face is anything to go by. Dean reluctantly pulls himself away from his entirely too captivating boyfriend, returning a moment later with a warm washcloth to clean them both up. Cas hums his satisfaction, eagerly pulling Dean back to him once they’re both clean. Dean grins, dropping a kiss to his boyfriend’s remarkably chapped lips, and Cas’s answering grin makes him feel warmer than he has in weeks.

 

Eventually, they move to the bed. It’s late, and Dean’s just gotten off an eleven hour flight, so there’s not much talking that night. They brush their teeth side by side and curl up together on their bed. Castiel’s up well before Dean the next morning, which isn’t surprising at all. He presses a gentle kiss to his forehead before padding quietly to their kitchen, humming one of Dean’s songs under his breath while he cooks.

 

Dean’s groggy voice drifts down the hallway to the kitchen just as he’s finishing their breakfast, and the clipped tone he’s speaking in makes Castiel nervous. He sets their breakfast on the table, walking back to their room and knocking softly.

 

“No, Crowley, I’m not doing it. I don’t care what it’ll do for my career, alright? Because I don’t want to, why isn’t that reason enough? Of _course_ this has to do with Cas, dumbass. We’ve been together since high school, I’m not gonna put him in that position. How would it help my career, exactly? No, man, I wanna stay _out_ of the spotlight.” Castiel’s eyebrows pinch in concern, and he pushes the door open gently. Dean turns to look at him, sighing softly and holding out his free hand. “Look, my career’s doing fine, I don’t need any extra publicity. Especially not with _her_ , and especially not like this. Let it go.” He ends the call, rubbing his eyes and tugging Cas onto his lap. “Mornin, angel. Sorry ‘bout that. Is that bacon I smell?” Castiel smiles, leaning his forehead against Dean’s.

 

“Of course it is. Everything okay?” Dean rolls his eyes, threading his fingers through Cas’s.

 

“This pop star- Bela, the one who’s super big in Europe and is starting to make it big over here?” Cas nods his recognition, tilting his head slightly. “She featured on one of the songs on my new album, and it sounds awesome.”

 

“So what’s the problem?” Dean rolls his eyes again, his hand tightening ever so slightly around Cas’s.

 

“Crowley wants me to fake dating her. Says it’d be good publicity for my career or some stupid shit like that.” A knot forms in Cas’s stomach, and this time it’s not from excitement.

 

“Oh.” Dean’s eyes flick up to his, and he’s being tugged into a hug before he even realizes it’s happening.

 

“Babe, come on, I said no. I don’t care how good it’d be for my career, I’m not gonna lie to my fans like that, and I’m sure as _hell_ not gonna do that to you.” Cas nods, sliding his arms around his boyfriend’s middle. “Besides, she’s kind of a hardcore bitch.” Castiel snorts, shaking his head and nuzzling his face into Dean’s neck.

 

“Why?” A soft chuckle rumbles through Dean’s chest, and Castiel’s oddly comforted by the feeling.

 

“She’s insanely controlling, she wanted a hand in every little thing we did on the track. We had to record it twenty-six different times before she got a take she was happy with. _Twenty-six times._ ” Castiel smiles, pressing a gentle kiss to Dean’s neck. “Ugh. I’ve gotta sing the song with her live on a few talk shows. I’m _this_ close to just cutting the entire track from my album so I don’t have to deal with her.” He holds up his hand with his thumb and forefinger touching, and Castiel raises an eyebrow at him. Dean laughs, his hand reaching up to ruffle Cas’s unruly black hair. “Dude, I meant for them to touch. She’s so annoying. I just want to be done with her.” Cas hums, leaning back in to press a kiss to Dean’s lips.

 

“I’m sorry you don’t like her. I’m sure the track is amazing though.” Dean grins, the soft, proud one he reserves for the times when Cas praises him. “Come on. Let’s go have some breakfast.” He says gently, dropping a kiss to Dean’s jaw. He hums in response, sliding his arm under Cas’s knees and standing effortlessly. Cas rolls his eyes, hiding a fond smile against Dean’s shoulder.

 

Their bubble only lasts for a few days. Dean’s manager, Crowley, shatters it with a phone call on Monday, four days after Dean came home.

 

“I can’t just leave, man, Cas’s birthday is in a few days. I know you already booked it, just… call back and cancel.” Cas toes his shoes off as he comes in the door, hanging his jacket and keys on their separate hooks. “Because it’s his _birthday_ , dude. I’m already away enough as is, I don’t want to miss his birthday on top of all that.” Dean turns to look at him when he hears footsteps, sighing. “No, I get it. Fine. Whatever.” He hangs up, tossing his phone on the coffee table and propping his elbows on his knees, putting his head in his hands for a moment before turning back to Castiel. “How was work?” Cas chuckles, setting his bag on the floor and dropping onto the couch next to him.

 

“Significantly better than your day, apparently. What’s wrong?” Dean rolls his eyes, slouching back against the couch.

 

“Crowley booked a show on the eighteenth. Colbert.” Cas raises his eyebrows, sitting back and tucking himself into Dean’s side.

 

“He’s your favorite, isn’t he? Why don’t you want to?” Dean turns to look at him, and the sadness in his eyes makes Cas’s heart physically hurt.

 

“It’s your birthday, Cas. I hate being away as much as I am, but at least I was gonna be here for your birthday. Now I can’t even do that.” Cas shrugs, kissing Dean’s chin lightly.

 

“It’s just a birthday. I have to work all day anyway, it’s not like you’d be missing much.” Dean sighs, but turns his body more toward Cas, wrapping both arms around him.

 

“I’m sorry, angel. It sucks for me, I can’t even imagine how much worse it is for you.” Cas smiles gently, shifting closer until their bodies are pressed together.

 

“It’s alright. I know you’re trying, and we still get to see each other fairly often. Besides, I get to watch the entire world fall in love with you just like I did.” A blush colors Dean’s cheeks, which he quickly removes from Cas’s line of sight by nuzzling his face in Cas’s hair.

 

“Sappy fuck.” Cas grins, shrugging and tilting his head up, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips.

 

“Yeah, but I’m _your_ sappy fuck.” Dean grins, leaning down to capture Cas’s lips in a proper kiss.

 

“Always.”

 

2.

Shopping for a house in California is hectic enough, especially in the fall. Shopping for a house without your boyfriend, though, is proving to be exceptionally difficult. It’s the end of September, so it’s not overly crowded, but scheduling times where he can go look at the house and Dean can be there for Facetime is insanely hard. He pulls up to the next house, the one he’s hoping Dean likes as much as he does, just as his Facetime call comes in. He puts the car in park, shutting it off and grabbing his phone, hastily fixing his hair before answering. Dean’s smiling face lights up his phone and Castiel can feel himself smiling back.

 

“Hey, angel. Sorry I can’t be there.” Cas rolls his eyes, stepping out of the car.

 

“You don’t have to apologize every time you talk to me, Dean. It’s okay, really.” He smiles at Charlie, their friend and real estate agent. He follows her into the house, chatting idly with her while he looks around. He ends up back in the living room with Charlie once he finishes showing Dean around, a gentle smile on his face. “What do you think?”

 

“I really like it, babe. It’s not huge, the neighborhood looks really nice, and the rooms are all a good size.” He hums thoughtfully. “I think this is my favorite one so far. Do you like it?” Charlie snorts, setting her papers down.

 

“This is the third time he’s been to see it, so I’d go with yes.” A blush creeps onto Cas’s cheeks while Dean grins at him.

 

“Yes, I like it.” Dean hums, nodding and glancing behind him for a moment before turning back.

 

“Good. Put an offer in on it. Babe, I’m sorry, but I gotta go. I’ll call you before you go to bed, alright? I love you.” Cas smiles, somewhat sadly, and nods.

 

“I love you too. Bye.” Dean ends the call, so Cas tucks his phone into his pocket and follows Charlie back to her office to put an offer in.

  
3.

Three days after he puts their offer in, Cas gets a call telling him that the house is theirs. They’ll be able to move in within the week, which means Dean will be home to help. Cas sighs softly in relief, finishing his lunch and sending Dean a text to let him know before heading back to work.

 

A week later, Dean’s home and helping pack up their apartment. They move in on Friday night, with most of their boxes ending up stacked in the living room. Their furniture isn’t coming until Saturday around two, so they spread a bunch of blankets on the floor in what will be their bedroom, setting Dean’s laptop between them and playing the next episode of Stranger Things. They barely make it through half the episode before the laptop is pushed out of the way and Dean’s shirt is roughly tugged off and thrown aside. He grins, tugging Cas’s mouth to his and dropping his hands to the tie of Cas’s sweatpants, tugging them open and slipping his hand into his boxers. The answering groan he gets makes him shift closer and every bit of his attention on Cas.

 

A week later, Dean’s back on the road and Cas is back at work. He sets his lunch in the staff fridge before pulling his lab coat on and grabbing his patient files for the morning. He does his morning rounds and stops by the cafeteria for a coffee, where his coworker Meg intercepts him.

 

“Cas, have you heard?” Castiel shakes his head, sitting at an empty table and taking a sip of his coffee.

 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, so probably not.” Meg winces, sitting across from him and sighing.

 

“They picked the new chief of the E.R.” Meg is watching him carefully, so he nods slowly.

 

“Ah. Good for whoever it is.” Meg sighs softly, squeezing his arm.

  
“I’m sorry. I know how much you wanted it.” Cas shrugs, forcing a weak smile.

 

“It’s fine. I’ve gotta get back to work, I’ll see you at lunch?” Meg nods, letting him go when he stands.

 

“Yeah, of course.” He nods, finishing his coffee and dropping the cup in the trash on his way back to the emergency room.

 

The rest of the day is uneventful. He mutters his congratulations to Anna for her promotion, busying himself with his patient files. He gets home shortly after five, dropping onto their couch and sighing, the bone-deep exhaustion settling in quickly. Before he realizes what he’s doing, he’s got his phone pressed to his ear, waiting for Dean to pick up. His eyes widen, glancing at the time and cursing quietly when Dean answers.

 

“Cas? Everythin’ alright?” Dean’s voice is soft and rough, and it’s so obvious he’d been asleep.

 

“Shit, Dean, I’m sorry, I completely forgot about the time difference.” He can almost picture Dean’s soft, sleepy smile.

 

“It’s fine, sweetheart. I gotta get up in… ‘bout half an hour, anyways. Flight leaves at nine this morning. Eh, seven at night, your time.” Castiel sighs, rubbing his face with his free hand.

 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you. I didn’t even realize I was calling you.” Dean chuckles quietly, and despite his guilt, the sound still makes the anxious knot in his stomach unwind, though it’s just a little.

 

“Cas, honestly, it’s fine. What’s wrong? What happened?” He sighs, propping his feet up on the coffee table and singing back into the couch.

 

“I got passed over for the ER chief job.” Dean doesn’t answer, so he pulls his phone away from his ear and smiles gently when he sees a Facetime call from Dean. He hits the accept button, rubbing his eyes. “I’m okay.” Dean rolls his eyes, running a hand through his sleep-mussed hair.

 

“I know you’re not, baby. I know how bad you wanted it, how much time you put in to get it. You don’t have to be okay, you know.” Cas sniffles quietly and chuckles.

 

“Sometimes it really sucks that you know me so well.” Dean laughs, which makes the knot in Cas’s stomach unwind even more.

 

“Bite me, Cas.” The teasing tone to Dean’s voice makes him smile.

 

“You’re a little far away, at the moment.” Dean raises an eyebrow, a smirk playing on his lips.

 

“So if I was there, you’d bite me? Kinky.” Cas rolls his eyes, laughing softly.

 

“Whatever. I’ll let you go, I’m just gonna have some dinner and get a bit of work done.” Dean pouts but nods.

 

“Message me if you wanna talk, okay? I’ll have wifi on my flight.” Cas nods, smiling gratefully.

 

“Text me when you land, let me know you’re safe.” Dean smiles, tugging on a shirt.

 

“Always, darlin’. Love you.”

 

“Love you too.” Dean hangs up, so he sets his phone on the coffee table and pushes himself off the couch, warming up food for dinner and catching up on his TV shows while he eats. He heads to bed early, smiling to himself and texting Dean a few hearts before setting his phone on the nightstand and falling asleep.

 

The next morning is mostly uneventful. The ER is surprisingly calm, so he spends most of his morning going over patient files and test results. He gets a page for a consultation at ten, so he drops his pen and pulls his office door closed behind him, heading to room 918. He knocks gently before pushing the door open, grabbing the file from the door and frowning when it’s empty.

  
“I’m sorry, just-” He looks up, freezing when he sees Dean standing in front of him. The man grins at him, holding his arms out. Cas sighs, dropping his things on the bed and hugging Dean tightly. “I can’t believe you’re here.” Dean smiles, pressing a kiss to his forehead.

 

“I told you, I know how much you wanted this promotion. Of course I was gonna come home. Gotta make sure my boy’s okay.” He tightens his arms around Dean, tucking his head under the man’s chin. Dean’s hand rubs slow circles between his shoulder blades before he pulls away and captures Cas’s lips in a gentle kiss. “I’m sorry you didn’t get it.” Cas hums, squeezing him gently.

 

“Thank you. And thank you for coming home. Means a lot.” Dean smiles, pressing a kiss to the top of Cas’s head.

 

“Of course, sweetheart. I’ve only got a couple more shows and then I’m home until February.” Cas smiles, nodding and nuzzling his face against Dean’s neck.

 

“Can’t wait. When do you have to leave?”

 

“Tomorrow morning. I’m all yours for the rest of the day.” He chuckles quietly, brushing a hand through Cas’s hair. “Once you get home, anyway.” Cas hums, chuckling.

 

“Meg helped you, didn’t she?” Dean grins.

 

“Obviously. That girl’s made to break rules.” Cas snorts, nodding in agreement.

 

4.

Dean always takes pictures of the places he goes, and has a habit of posting them with a message thanking his fans for the opportunity to be there. Cas is usually happy for him, and usually gets a few more pictures of the area that Dean didn’t post, but today’s an exception. He’s still upset about getting passed over for the promotion, and having his boyfriend hundred of miles away with a beautiful view and thousands of people screaming his name isn’t helping his mood. He huffs softly as he flips through the pictures Dean sent him that morning, his bottom lip poking out in a pout. He locks his phone without answering, rolling over and pulling the blankets over himself again.

 

His phone chimes a little while later with his email alert, so he sighs and grabs his phone to make sure it’s not a work email. He sits up when he sees it’s from Dean, scrolling through the attachments before switching to his messages and sending one to Dean.

 

**Is this your album?**

 

_Yeah. The final tracks, anyway. We’re announcing the release tonight :)_

 

He smiles to himself, grabbing his laptop off the nightstand and opening the email, downloading the files. He carries his laptop to the kitchen, hitting play on the first track and listening to the album while he makes himself breakfast.

 

After listening to the entire album three times, he grabs his phone from his room and opens his messages.

 

**Dean, it’s INCREDIBLE.**

 

_:D Thanks, baby. Any favorites?_

 

**The one with Bela is really good, but I think the last one, 12, is my favorite.**

 

_Wrote that one with you in mind… though I wrote all of them with you in mind so I guess that isn’t saying much lol_

 

Cas rolls his eyes, playing the album again.

 

**Sap. Have fun at your concert.**

 

_ <3 _

 

He smiles, sending a heart back and setting his phone on the counter, doing some chores around the house while he listens to Dean’s album again.

 

5. 

Dean’s album comes out two weeks later, just in time for Grammy consideration. Dean thinks it’s a longshot, but Cas has never been more confident about Dean’s chances. Dean’s tour is on hold until mid February, so he’s home for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s, as well as his birthday. They have Thanksgiving at Dean and Cas’s new house, with the party doubling as their housewarming. They agree to spend the time between Thanksgiving and Christmas hanging out at their house, though Cas has to work, leaving Dean alone at home to practice his songs. That’s what he told Cas, anyway. In reality, he was searching for engagement rings with Charlie. It only takes him a few days to find the perfect one, which is conveniently in stock in Cas’s ring size, so he buys it on the spot and hides the box in his guitar case as soon as he gets home. That Saturday, he takes Cas out for dinner and then a walk through the park near their house. Cas has been watching him carefully all night, and he’s sure the near-constant glancing around to make sure they’re alone isn’t helping.

 

“Dean. Is everything okay?” Dean hums and nods, slipping his free hand into his pocket and brushing his fingers over the ring box.

 

“Yeah. Yeah, everything’s great.” He stops walking, smiling to himself when Cas stops and glances back at him. “I wanna ask you somethin’.” Cas raises his eyebrows, turning to face him fully.

 

“Alright.” Dean smiles to himself, taking Cas’s other hand and dropping a kiss to the tip of his nose.

 

“I love you.” Cas smiles, kissing him quickly.

 

“I love you too. That isn’t a question.” Dean rolls his eyes, chuckling.

 

“Fine, how about this, then?” He lets go of Cas’s hand, pulling the ring box out of his pocket and keeping it in the palm of his hand where Cas can’t see it. “I know you’re not really into doing stuff in the traditional way, so I’m just gonna stay like this.” He lets go of Cas’s other hand, smiling reassuringly when he sees the concerned look on Cas’s face. “It’s nothin’ bad, promise.” He clears his throat, taking a steadying breath before flipping the ring box open. Cas’s eyes flick down to the ring, lingering there for a moment before meeting Dean’s eyes again.

 

“Are you…?” Dean grins, nodding.

 

“Yeah. I know I’m not here as often as we both want, and I know it sucks having me so far away when you have bad days, but if you’ll have me, I wanna marry you.” Cas is quiet for a moment before huffing softly and shoving Dean’s shoulder. Dean scoffs in response, a nervous smile on his lips.

 

“ _If_ I’ll have you? _If_? Of course I’ll marry you.” Dean chuckles, shaking his head and pulling the ring out of the box, taking Cas’s shaking hand and sliding the ring on gently. “God, you’re a dick.” Dean laughs, shoving the box back in his pocket.

 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” Cas rolls his eyes, huffing and pulling a nearly identical box from his pocket.

 

“I’ve been trying to figure out how to propose to you for three months.” Dean grins, tugging his fiancé to him and dropping a kiss on his forehead.

 

“I mean, for what it’s worth, I definitely would’ve said yes.” Cas snorts, shaking his head and grabbing the ring.

 

“I don’t know if you want to wear it in public…” Dean hums and holds out his hand, nuzzling against Cas’s jaw while he slides the ring onto Dean’s finger.

 

“Until February, I’m just Dean. The rest of the world can debate about me all they want, I don’t care.” Cas chuckles, shaking his head and pulling Dean’s mouth to his. “For the record, though, I’m okay. With being out, I mean. I’m tired of hiding you.” Cas hums, nodding.

 

“Okay.”

 

“It’s up to you, obviously, bu- wait, what?” Cas laughs, threading his fingers through Dean’s.

 

“I’m okay with it too. I know what comes with it and… yeah. I’m tired of hiding too.” Dean smiles widely, squeezing Cas’s hand and walking back to their house.

 

Two days later, Dean gets a call from Crowley, who booked him to play Saturday Night Live as a last-minute replacement. He sighs but agrees that he’ll be there, shooting an apologetic glance in Cas’s direction. He hangs up after jotting down all the information, automatically holding his arm out when Cas walks over.

 

“Can I go with you? I’m off work Friday.” Dean glances at him, a grin spreading across his face after a moment.

 

“Really?” He nods, smiling and tucking himself into Dean’s side. “Hell yeah, babe. I’d love for you to come with me.”

 

So, four days later, they’re on a plane to New York. Dean’s accustomed to first class and doesn’t even spare a second glance when they enter the cabin, but Cas freezes in the entryway. Dean drops into his seat, turning to look when Cas doesn’t follow him. He laughs softly, holding out a hand. Cas blinks at him, taking it and sitting down.

 

“This is…” Dean chuckles, threading their fingers together before leaning back in his seat.

 

“Excessive?” Cas nods in agreement, glancing around.

 

“Yeah. Yeah, that’s a good word for it.” Dean hums, squeezing his hand.

 

“Agreed. It’s kinda my only option though. I tried normal seats but I got recognized way too often.” Cas hums, shifting so their knees are touching, resting his other hand on Dean’s forearm.

 

“I’m excited to see you play, especially on SNL.” Dean smiles, kissing him quickly.

 

“Yeah. It’s awesome. I’m so excited.” Cas grins, kissing him quickly again.

 

They get to their hotel an hour after they land and settle in. Dean’s got rehearsal, so they grab a quick dinner before heading to the studio. They’ve decided not to hide anymore, and Cas has never been more thankful. He can hold his fiancé’s hand while they walk down the street without worrying about paparazzi catching them. Dean opens the door for him, kissing him gently while they wait for the elevator. Cas hangs out in the back of the room while Dean warms up and greets his band. He catches Dean rolling his eyes and when he turns, he spots Bela walking in. He chuckles to himself, shaking his head at his fiancé and turning back to his phone.

 

Rehearsal goes off without a hitch, and they’re back in their hotel room in a couple hours. The night is wholly uneventful, since Dean’s too nervous to do much of anything. They get breakfast in the hotel the next day before heading to the studio for another rehearsal. Cas hangs out in the back of the room while they rehearse, smiling to himself as he watches Dean. They grab a quick dinner and hang out backstage while they wait for the show to go live. Dean’s bouncing his foot nervously, so Cas rests a hand on his knee and kisses his cheek gently.

 

“You’re gonna be amazing, Dean. Promise you.” Dean smiles shyly, resting his hand on Cas’s and squeezing gently.

 

“Thanks, babe. You gonna watch from back here or out there?” Cas grins, bumping their shoulders gently.

 

“Out there, obviously. I like having a good view of my fiancé.” Dean grins, leaning his head on Cas’s.

 

“You really like callin’ me that, huh?”

 

“The only time I’ll ever get tired of it is when I can call you my husband instead.” A blush colors Dean’s cheeks and he ducks his head quickly to hide it. Cas grins, squeezing Dean’s knee.

 

“Yeah, now who’s the sap?” Cas laughs, shrugging and kissing Dean’s cheek.

 

They can hear the start of the show from backstage, shortly before an assistant comes to get Dean. He presses a kiss to Cas’s forehead before following her. Cas lingers backstage until the opening of the show is over, making his way to the back of the main room to watch. As much as he enjoys the sketches, he’s far more excited to watch Dean perform.

 

And, sure enough, Dean crushes his first performance. The small crowd in the studio loves him and he looks at home on stage. Not to mention it makes Cas bubble with excitement to see the engagement ring shining on Dean’s finger. They go to commercial break and Dean’s eyes find his, a small smile on his face. Cas blows a kiss in his direction, grinning to himself. He watches the next few sketches, smiling widely when they start setting up for Dean and Bela. He catches Dean’s eye, shooting him a reassuring smile. Dean smiles gratefully, tapping his finger on his guitar while he waits.

 

Their performance is incredible. The song is beautiful, Dean’s voice is smooth and warm and doesn’t show a hint of the nervousness Cas knows he’s feeling. Bela’s voice is soft and sultry, and their voices combined are breathtaking. Despite how small the studio audience is, their applause at the end of the song is deafening, and Cas is clapping right along with them. That is, until Bela decides to go off script. Cas’s stomach drops as soon as he sees her hand close around the back of Dean’s neck, his eyes widening when she draws him into a kiss. He can see Dean freeze, but only for a second before he pushes her, rather roughly, away from him. As cliché as it is, the studio is so silent that you could hear a pin drop.

 

“Bela, what the _fuck_?” He cringes at the harshness of Dean’s tone, but he can’t exactly say he blames him. Bela has the audacity to roll her eyes and step closer to him.

 

“Right, I’m sure you’re really upset.” Dean steps away, shaking his head and setting his guitar on its stand.

 

“Bela, you _know_ I’m engaged. I told you myself.” Bela shrugs.

 

“Everyone in this business cheats.”

 

“I don’t.” He steps away again when she steps toward him, holding up a hand. “Stay away from me. Seriously. This is done.” He steps past her, grabbing Cas’s hand and walking backstage. Cas squeezes his hand, his voice soft.

 

“Dean, hey, it’s okay. _Dean_.” Dean stops in his tracks, letting out a harsh breath.

 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t-”

 

“Dean, I’m serious. I know you didn’t know she was gonna do that. I know you’d never cheat on me.” Dean nods, though he still looks nervous, so Cas wraps him in his arms. Dean melts into the hug, tucking his face against Cas’s neck and hugging him tightly.

 

“I’m so sorry, Cas.” He smiles gently, kissing Dean’s head and squeezing him gently.

 

“You don’t have anything to apologize for. I promise. We’re good.” Dean nods, leaning his forehead on Cas’s for a moment.

 

“Can I kiss you?” Cas hums, capturing Dean’s lips in a gentle kiss.

 

“Always.”

 

6. 

The flight home is entirely uneventful. Dean still hates flying, but he’s so used to it that he barely makes a fuss anymore. He still feels guilty for what Bela did, but Cas assures him every time that it’s not his fault and he’s not angry. They spend a few days lounging around the house and decorating for Christmas.

 

On December 13th, Dean wakes up to an empty bed and his phone remarkably silent. He knows Grammy nominations were released earlier in the morning, but there’s no texts from his manager or bandmates, so he resists the urge to check the nominations online and disappoint himself further. Instead, he untangles himself from the blankets and pads to the kitchen quietly, a pout tugging at his lips when he doesn’t find Cas. He’s just about to turn and get his phone from their room when their front door opens and Cas steps inside with his free hand behind his back. He freezes when he sees Dean, closing the door.

 

“I thought you were still sleeping. Did I wake you?” Dean shakes his head, smiling gently and holding out a hand. Cas steps closer but stays far enough away that Dean can’t make out what’s behind his back. “I took today off.”

 

“Babe, I’m fine. Really. I didn’t expect to be nominated anyway.” Cas’s face splits into a grin, which just confuses Dean even further.

 

“I can’t believe it worked.” He finally pulls his hand out and Dean’s eyes flick between the bouquet of roses and Cas’s face, his confused frown deepening. Cas chuckles, stepping closer and wrapping his free arm around Dean’s middle. “I wanted to be the one who told you, so I got rid of all the notifications. I figured you wouldn’t check online if you didn’t have any notifications.” Dean chuckles, setting the flowers on the table and wrapping his arms around Cas’s neck.

 

“You know me too well. What notifications?” Cas hums, kissing Dean’s cheek.

 

“The notifications from Crowley, Charlie, your mom, Sam, your band.” Dean raises his eyebrows.

 

“Notifications about…?” Cas grins.

 

“About your six different nominations.” Dean’s eyes widen a comical amount.

 

“ _Six_?” Cas grins, nodding.

 

“Record, Album, Song, Best Rock Performance, Best Rock Song and Best Rock Album. You crushed it, babe.” Dean’s face splits into a wide grin, wrapping him in a tight hug.

 

“Six. Oh my god, Cas, I can’t believe it!” Cas rolls his eyes, smiling and hugging him back.

 

“Why? Your album was amazing.” He hums, nuzzling against Dean’s cheek. “You should call Crowley, though, he said to call him when you woke up.” Dean hums, kissing him gently.

 

“Later. Breakfast first.” Cas grins, nodding and tugging his fiancé to the kitchen.

 

They have the morning to themselves until Dean finally caves just before lunchtime and calls Crowley, snuggled against Cas’s side on the couch.

 

“Hey Crowley, what’s up?” Cas can feel Dean tense against his side, raising his eyebrows and turning to look at him. “They want me to _open_ ?” Cas slips an arm around him, kissing his forehead gently.  “Yes, _hell_ yes! Of course I want to. Yeah, send me the stuff.” Dean hangs up and turns to Cas with a bright grin on his face. “Guess who’s opening the Grammys.” Cas grins back, kissing him gently.

 

“That’s awesome, Dean. I’m so proud of you.” Dean hums, lacing their fingers.

 

“It’s in New York this year. Are you gonna come?” Castiel shrugs, setting his laptop aside.

 

“I’ve got vacation time saved up since we didn’t meet up in Europe. So, if you want me to…” Dean rolls his eyes, poking Cas’s side.

 

“Of course I want you to. We won’t be able to walk the red carpet since I’m opening, though.” Cas rolls his eyes, a fond smile on his lips.

 

“What a tragedy.” Dean snorts, brushing his thumb over Cas’s engagement ring.

 

“How would you feel if I… y’know, said something. If I win, anyway. About us.” Cas smiles gently, leaning his head on Dean’s.

 

“I’m okay with us being out. I promise.” Dean smiles and nods.

 

“They’ll probably cut to you, if I say anything.” Cas shrugs.

 

“Let them.”

 

They spend Christmas with Dean’s family in Kansas and fly home and spend New Year’s with their friends. They’re mostly able to avoid the situation with Bela and the drama surrounding it. The majority of people saw how uncomfortable the kiss made Dean and he hasn’t gotten too much outrage about pushing her away. The camera had cut away before Dean had said anything, so his comment about being engaged remained with those who’d seen the show live. There was some speculation about the ring, but no one had anything concrete.

 

Dean spends most of January at home working on songs while Cas is at work, before flying to New York a week before the Grammys. Dean has a few rehearsals, but most of the time is spent with just the two of them. The paparazzi are mostly non-existent until more of the Grammy stars start showing up in New York. They keep to going out at night, spending the days lounging in their hotel room and enjoying the hotel’s amenities. Dean has his final rehearsal on Saturday, so Cas stays in the main room behind the small crowd of people working to get it ready for the next night. Rehearsal goes off without a hitch, and they grab dinner at a fancy restaurant before heading back to their hotel room. Dean’s nervous for his performance, so they spend the night lounging around in bathrobes and watching shitty TV before they both fall asleep around midnight.

 

Dean’s up early the next morning and somehow convinces Cas to get out of their warm bed and go to the hotel’s gym to work out. Though, to be fair, Cas doesn’t exactly _hate_ watching Dean’s muscles ripple under his clothes… All in all, he can’t say it’s a bad morning. They take turns getting ready and Dean takes the opportunity to tie Cas’s tie for him, making sure it’s straight before dropping a kiss to his nose. Cas smiles in response, humming happily.

 

“Are you bringing clothes to change into?” He tugs at Dean’s AC/DC t-shirt, smiling to himself.

 

“Yeah, a suit. Not that I’ll need it.” Cas rolls his eyes, shoving his shoulder gently.

 

“You’re gonna win, stop doubting yourself. When do we have to leave?”

 

“I have to be there at six for sound check and then the show starts at eight. You’re welcome to come and hang out backstage until they start seating everyone.” Cas hums and nods, dropping onto the bed.

 

Their car comes to get them at five thirty, so Dean grabs his bag and walks through the lobby with Cas’s hand tightly in his. Cas is sure a few people caught sight of them, but he honestly can’t say it bothers him. He’s excited that he doesn’t have to hide while he’s in Dean’s presence. They get to Madison Square Garden just before six, and an assistant leads them backstage. She gets Dean set up with a mic pack and ushers him onto the stage with his band, leading Cas to a place where he can watch from backstage. The sound check is flawless, and Cas ends up hanging out with Dean and his band until they start seating people at seven thirty. He wishes Dean luck, kissing him quickly before following the assistant to his seat.

 

Dean turns to his bandmates with a smirk. His drummer, Benny, rolls his eyes.

 

“I can’t believe ya actually managed to hid it from him.” Dean chuckles, shrugging and taking his acoustic guitar out of its case.

 

“Yeah, as far as I know, he’s clueless. Let’s hope I can pull it off.” Benny chuckles, clapping him on the shoulder.

 

“I have no doubt that you will.”

 

As soon as the lights dim at eight, Cas settles into his seat with a proud smile on his face, waiting for Dean and his band to come on stage. Instead, Dean walks onto the stage alone, with his old acoustic guitar in hand. Cas frowns, glancing around and sinking in his seat slightly when he sees the cameras nearby. Dean steps up to the mic, settling onto the stool and adjusting the guitar on his lap before speaking.

 

“I know a lot of you were expecting me to come out with my band and my bright blue electric guitar, so let me explain. When my album came out, I asked you all to do me a really huge favor and make sure my boyfriend didn’t find out about the thirteenth track on the album. I sent out a tweet as soon as the album dropped and you guys just ran with it. As far as I know, he’s still completely clueless about it so…” Dean smiles sheepishly, his eyes scanning the room for Castiel’s. “Sorry, Cas.” There’s soft laughter around the room and Cas can’t help but feel that he’s been left out of something huge. Dean shifts in his seat, strumming his guitar quietly. “So when I was fourteen, I was still very much in the closet. I moved to Kansas and switched school, so I didn’t know anyone there. I got paired with this… adorably dorky kid for a project in our English class.” Dean grins, pulling the mic closer and clearing his throat. “Who coulda guessed that we’d be engaged thirteen years later?” A loud cheer rumbles through the crowd and Cas finds himself blushing, but sitting up a bit straighter. “I wrote this song for him, so I figured it’d be a fitting song to play for him, now that we’re not hiding anymore.” Dean clears his throat again and Cas can practically see him putting on his stage persona, smiling to himself as he strums the opening chords of the song.

 

“We're in my old car down on the highway  
The rain is coming down and we're on the run  
Think I can feel the breath in your body  
We gotta keep on running 'til we see the sun” Cas glances around and sees everyone around him singing along. He definitely didn’t get this song when Dean sent him the album, he knows that for sure.  
  
“Oh you got a fire and it's burning in the rain  
Thought that it went out, but it's burning just the same  
And you don't look back, not for anything  
'Cause if you love someone, you love them all the same  
If you love someone, you love them all the same” Dean’s eyes meet his, or at least it seems that way, so Cas sends him a shy smile and brushes his thumb over his ring.  
  
“Oh, I feel your heartbeat  
And you're coming around, coming around, coming around  
If you can love somebody, love them all the same  
You gotta love somebody, love them all the same  
Singing, oh, I feel your heartbeat” Cas grins to himself as he listens to the words, beyond happy to see everyone else singing along. Dean finishes off the song, his flawless voice and the soft acoustic guitar the only sounds in the room before nearly everyone erupts into loud cheers. Dean grins widely, taking his electric guitar when his band comes out and playing their newest single. Cas grins proudly, singing every word along with everyone else.

 

Dean joins him in the crowd once he changes into a suit, quickly taking Cas’s hand and holding it in both of his. Cas huffs softly, nudging his shoulder against Dean’s.

 

“You’re a jerk.” Dean grins, kissing his cheek.

 

“You love it.” Cas rolls his eyes but squeezes Dean’s hand anyway, settling into his seat to watch the show.

Dean leaves with six Grammys that night, and if they’d been hiding before, the six kisses Cas got on camera after Dean won his awards made sure everyone knew Dean was _very_ taken.

 

BONUS

“Dean, you’re gonna be fine. I promise. I’ll be right here when you finish, we can go get some pie.” Dean glares at him.

 

“You better not go back on that offer.” Cas grins, reaching up and smoothing Dean’s collar down, fixing his tie and brushing his hand along Dean’s chest.

 

“I would _never_ do that to you.” Dean rolls his eyes but smiles fondly, pressing a kiss to Cas’s cheek before walking onto the stage after they announce his name. Cas stays backstage, content to watch his husband from the sidelines.

 

The interview is perfect. Dean finally gets to share his story about coming out to his homophobic father and how having someone like Cas around helped him through that. He even gets to meet a few of his fans in the audience that came out to their families after Dean’s Grammy performance a year ago. Dean’s good at hiding his emotions when he’s got his stage persona working, but Cas can see just how much it means to him.

 

And, as promised, as soon as Dean’s interview is over, they head to a 24-hour diner nearby for a slice of pie and an ice cream sundae. Dean sneaks spoonfuls of ice cream when Cas isn’t looking, grinning sheepishly but unapologetically when Cas finally catches him.

 

The paparazzi leave them alone, for the most part. After Dean had announced they were engaged, they agreed to share a bit more of their life with Dean’s fans, to the point that it didn’t pay for the paparazzi to follow them around. Dean’s got the entire summer off, save for a couple music festivals, so once they finish their dessert, they head home and lock the door behind them, leaving a trail of their clothes all the way to their bedroom.

 

So, all in all, dating a rockstar isn’t really that awful.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Possible trigger: Bela kisses Dean without his permission and while she knows he's engaged to Cas and he shoves her away as a result. 
> 
> The song used in this is Heartbeat by The Fray, which you can listen to [here!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hp0_2fjPlbM) The acoustic version can be found [here.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ay6DAeeCNq4)
> 
> You can find me on Tumblr [here(:](https://fangirlingtodeath513.tumblr.com/)
> 
> PLEASE DO NOT POST MY WORKS ANYWHERE BUT HERE OR TUMBLR WITHOUT MY EXPRESS PERMISSION.


End file.
